Ep 100: Lessons from 100 Episodes!

    Cheers to 100 episodes!!
    I’m not great at celebrating small wins.
    My brain loves to just keep pushing forward. Move the goalposts. Focus on everything I haven’t accomplished.
    And while that serves me in some ways, it often makes me miss the whole journey.
    So I’m intentionally slowing down and appreciating the process.
    100 episodes.
    80+ in-depth conversations with incredible people.
    Almost 2 years of podcasting.
    My whole life has changed.
    And that’s worth celebrating.
    Thank you to everyone who has listened and supported this journey! I love you all.
    This week I talk about the lessons I've learned through these 100 episodes as well as an update about where my business is heading.
    Show Transcript:
    Hello everyone, welcome to my hundredth episode. I honestly can't believe that number. I cannot believe I've been doing this for almost two years, every single week. And that we have a hundred episodes in. It's pretty crazy because it really does feel like I just started. So it's amazing what can happen when you just put one foot in front of the other. I figured I would do a special episode about what I've learned over these last hundred episodes and talk a little bit about the wins and losses. Hopefully it'll help you. And then I also wanted to give you guys a little update on what is happening with me and the podcast and this community and my business and all that good stuff. Cause I don't think I've updated you guys in a while. We're still smack dab in the middle of Kobe.
    They're easing up a little bit on these quarantine rules and so people are starting to slowly integrate back into society. Other than that though, things are really great. So before I jump in to talk about why this episode is really special to me and the things that I've learned over these hundred episodes, I did want it to give you some exciting news. I am starting a five day challenge next week. So it's going to start June 1st and it is all about finding your path. The number one question I get from UIs is how to figure out what the next thing should be, how to discover your dream career, how to figure out what's right, is it, you know what if you regret it, what if the next thing isn't good either? Maybe you're not passionate about anything. Maybe you're passionate about too many things.
    I know that we get really stuck in what that next right decision is. And so we become paralyzed and we don't take any step. And I don't want that for you. I want you to be taking action towards whatever your dreams are. And so we're going to spend five days together. June 1st through the fifth, we'll have a private Facebook group where it'll be all people in the same position where we can help each other. I will teach every day live there and you can watch the replays in there and I will give you assignments and things to do so that you can start figuring out what that dream career is. So if you want to sign up, which you should because it's totally free, it's, it'll be really fun and hopefully you'll learn a lot from it. It’ll be a lot of value and you can make some headway in figuring out what your dream career is.
    You can sign up at quitter club.com/challenge. So make sure you sign up. I would love to see you all in there. It's going to be a lot of fun. I really can't wait for it. It's my first challenge. So we'll see how it goes. Now that that is out of the way, let's talk about a hundred episodes. Okay, so here's the thing. I actually wasn't going to do anything for this episode. This is the episode that I typically do the book review. It's the last episode of the month in may. And as I've been mentioning, we were, we're reading atomic habits and I have that all planned. But the first lesson that I'm learning over and over again is that you really have to take time to celebrate your wins. It's so easy to just keep moving the goalposts, like get onto the next thing.
    We live in a culture that prioritizes hustle over anything else and we have sort of been programmed to just achieve. And myself included. I mean, even though I'm intellectually aware of it, I constantly get caught in this hamster wheel of more and more and more and more and more. And I never stopped to really just take in the things that are already great and the things that I'm accomplishing. And the thing is that, you know, I don't know, seem like an accomplishment. And I say seen because to me, did it seem that big of a deal? One hundred episodes? If you just keep doing it, you'll get there. Right. and I realize that that's part of the problem in my thinking is that my brain, like every other human brain, has a negativity bias. It has a bias towards the native and so it will find everything that you did wrong.
    Everything that wasn't up to what you wanted, everything you regret. We will focus on that. And anything that you did that was unique or good or you did well or other people liked, we have a way of either glossing over it or talking it up to something else. Like, Oh no, that wasn't a big deal. That was, you know, just because of X, Y and Z. And I do this a lot and I'm really trying to stop myself. I'm trying to show my brain evidence of the cool things that I do so that I can give myself a break from beating myself up. And I really want you guys to start doing the same thing. It's really easy to just keep moving, just keep plugging along. And that is what celebrated rest is not celebrated. I think, I mean we all like celebrating, but I think that we think when it's other people then it's worth it.
    But for us, for some reason it's not that big of a deal. And so that was my first lesson and that's why I'm doing this episode because I really do want to take the time to acknowledge that this hasn't been easy. And putting out content for two years consistently every single week has been a challenge. It has been incredibly rewarding, but it has been a lot of work. Finding guests, interviewing, editing, sharing on social media, doing all that stuff is a lot. And so it's really cool to get to a hundred episodes. To be honest. I didn't know if I would get here. There were many times where I thought that this podcast would not last. And so I'm very glad that I didn't give up on it and that I've met so many of you amazing people through this and that it really has changed my life in a lot of ways that I'll talk about more.
    But the first lesson that I learned is to just stop and celebrate and appreciate and be grateful for the things that we already have. And a close second to that, that I'm learning over and over again. And it goes to like really celebrating your own wins is I'm comparison is just losinga game every single time. And again, our brains are wired for this and so we're constantly looking at the next thing and why we're not there yet or why somebody else has it better or more or whatever, you know, figured it out and we haven't. And I just want to highlight this because I'm very conscious of it now and it still blows my mind. So I'm going to give you an example. Even with this podcast, the fact that I have a hundred episodes in and I have a hundred thousand downloads.
    If you told me when I started, I would have thought you were crazy. I would be like, there's no way I'm going to get there. That's insane. I would have been so stoked on that. But then when you get there, it's not a big deal. And I'm like, well yeah, I mean, what's a hundred thousand downloads? People have millions of downloads of their podcasts, mine hasn't blown up right. And it becomes really easy to take that thing that would have been so exciting to you and downplay it and find out why it's wrong and find out why it wasn't like the ideal situation. And recently, I'm relearning this lesson over and over again, but I recently got on tick tock, so if you're on TikTok go follow me @lessonsfromaquitter. And it was just, it's just such a stark example because I've been on Instagram posting every day, every other day, all the time, just all the time on there.
    And I've been on there since I started the podcast, so almost two years now. And with consistent engagement and posting and interacting, I am up to about, I don't know, 6,500 6,600 followers. Right. Which is great. I love the community there and it's nothing to walk at. But I got on tick tock in I guess I want to say end of March. Yeah, end of March. Maybe the beginning of April. So right now when I'm recording this, this is the end of May, so two months. Okay. Two months ago I got on TikTok and I just decided I would play around because I don't really know anybody on tech docs. I was like, well let's see if this type of work resonates with people on this app cause it tends to be younger demographic. And I started only doing mindset videos, like one minute mindset videos because as I'll talk about later too, I'm obsessed with all things mindset as you know, from listening to this podcast.
    And I figured I'll just give it a go, see what happens, you know, have some fun in two months I now have 52,000 followers. Okay. So a lot of, some of the videos have gone viral and I ticked off. The organic reach is just a lot better right now. And so it's easier to reach more people. And it was blowing my mind in the beginning, right? Every day I would put up a video and like I'd wake up the next day and I would have about 3000 more followers. And I was like, you've gotta be kidding me. This is insane. What's happening. Right? It was the coolest thing and I didn't know what, I don't know where it's going to lead or what I'm going to do with it, but the fact that the audience is growing so organically and very quickly, it was so exciting.
    And I joke around with my niece who's 12 who's on tic, talk about how I'm Tech-Talk famous now. And like, you know, it was this really cool thing. And I realized very quickly, you know, I don't know, within a couple of weeks, the dialogue in my head started changing and I added because I started knowing the platform more and because some of my videos have gone viral, I kept looking at why other ones weren't going viral or I wasn't getting the same reach, you know, as weeks went on. And then I would find other people that were doing something similar to me. And then I would look at their accounts and they had 500,000 followers and I was like, what? They started at the same time as me or right around the same time, how are they so much bigger?
    And I've just, I know this, you know, I know that comparison is the thief of all joy, but I just want you all to understand that it doesn't ever end. There's never a time where you will get anywhere and then you'll say, you know what? I've made it. I'm done. This is, I am at the top. I'm so happy. I'm not going to look at anybody else. I'm like this is it, I am at my peak joy. Right. And I think knowing that helps you bring back awareness to when you're comparing and realizing that I only have to compare to my previous self like this myself. Two months ago that got on ticked off. If you told me that I would have over 50,000 followers again, I would have told you you're a liar. That's insane. It's the coolest thing. And I have to bring my awareness back to that so I can enjoy it.
    So I can understand, I'm not competing with anybody else. The fact that people are resonating with what I'm saying is so amazing and the fact that I have this audience now and then I'm growing it and then I get to experiment and have fun and do things in different ways on TechTalk than I do in other platforms. That's the goal, right? But what happens is that our brain tricks us into constantly thinking it's not enough. It's never enough. Somebody else hasn't more. Why isn't it faster? It, you know, and I think a bigger lesson is obviously we think getting to a certain place is gonna all of a sudden solve all of our problems. Once we have that, then everything is going to be great. And then we get there and we realize, Oh, I feel the same way because external circumstances don't cause how I feel.
    And I thought about it too. And I have the same thoughts. I have the same thoughts when I was at zero followers as when I have 50,000 followers. I had the same insecurities about my coaching ability, about you know, my mindset work, whatever it is. And that doesn't change just because I have followers. And so the comparison trap will never end. It will never end. You will never get to a place where you feel like, Hmm, I made it. I'm super happy now. And I think it requires understanding that and getting yourself to just put the blinders on and focus on your own race. Focus on comparing yourself to who you were six months ago or who you were a year ago and not who the person that started five years before you, where they are. So that's two, three and this is gonna be really hard for a lot of people that listen to this because I think we've been taught the opposite of this for so long is that you don't have to be perfect.
    I'm a perfect example of this. I kept going back and forth on whether you did this episode because I had planned to do the book review episode on the last episode of the month. And so I kept thinking, Oh I can't do it. I can't do the hundredth episode cause it has to be the book review episode. So maybe I'll just say something quickly in the beginning of that episode and you know, we'll move on. And then I was thinking, why does it have to be the book review? There's no podcast police. They're going to come and tell me that you told people it was going to be the last episode. You have to do this. Right. I realized it's my perfectionist fantasies of having everything be the exact way I had originally said and there's no deviation. And if there is, then I don't know the world is going to swallow me up.
    And obviously that's not the truth. You know? And I was like, well I could just do this hundredth episode and then do the book review the next week. It's so amazing. I really have the ability to just do whatever it is I want to do. And it's a, when you truly understand that it is such a liberating realization that there are no rules, there is no right or wrong. It doesn't matter. Do it the way you want to do it and then pivot and if something comes up, you know, when I first started doing book reviews five months ago, I didn't calculate, you know, 30 episodes ahead and I didn't know that this was going to land on the hundredth episode. So when it got here, I am able to say like, I just want to do something different. And I think this would have been really difficult for me a couple of years ago.
    I think I was so tied into this perfectionist mindset and personality that I have to only show up as my perfect self and I don't want anyone to look at this and judge that. I would never take those risks. And I think I've learned through this podcast honestly and through this journey that it doesn't have to be perfect and I will never get anything done. If it is perfect, like I have to give myself the permission to take it as it comes and to pivot and to figure out what works for me and what doesn't.
    So that's three. Four, it's so cliche. It is so cliche. It's not the destination, it's the journey. But honest to God, there is no more true cliche than that. If you don't enjoy the process, you won't stick with it. I think that, you know, the reason a hundred episodes doesn't seem that big of a deal to me is because well yeah, of course I'd get there because I love doing the podcast. So I'm, you know, I don't really have a doubt that I might get to 200 episodes because I'm just gotta keep doing the thing that I like doing. If I was doing a podcast because I wanted to get famous or because I wanted to... It was, you know, just a means to an end of a marketing tool. Then I can see why there's a thing called pod fade where after seven or eight episodes, the vast majority of podcasts end because it's a ton of work and if you don't actually like doing it, you're not going to stick with it.
    Right. And so it's not just with podcasting, it's a matter of when you're looking at the career that you want, when you're looking at the next thing that you want to be doing, don't do it because of an end goal. Don't do it because of a position that you're going to get to. Don't do it with a business that is going to make a certain amount of money. Do it because you want to do that thing every day because that's the thing that lights you up, right? Because otherwise you're never, when it's going to get tough, it's a lot of work. Anything is and when it gets to that point, you're going to give up. My lesson number five is that I still have no idea what I'm doing. I remember when I started the podcast, I was like, yeah, I'll give myself 10 episodes and then things should just blow up from there. I'm pretty sure that it's going to like, I don't know,
    Just become this huge sensation and it's going to become a, you know, everything is going to work out and it's laughable obviously to think about how I was thinking about this. But I definitely thought that I would figure this all out very quickly and have more of a plan and I remember not wanting to start it because I didn't have as much of a plan yet. I was like, well, I gotta figure everything out and I'm so glad I didn't put it off because I am at a hundred episodes in and I still have no idea what I'm doing. And what I mean by that is I'm constantly thinking about like, should I change it in this way? Should I add this thing? I don't know. Like, should I start doing another type of segments? We started doing, you know, book reviews, like what else does my audience need?
    What am I using this podcast for? What is the future of the podcast going to be? What do I want it to be? How am I evolving? All of this stuff is constantly in flux and it's not as though it becomes really solidified. You're like, Oh, I know exactly what I'm doing. I know. You know, like this is all figured out. It just doesn't ever become like that. And I think this has been a really illuminating process for me to see that because I thought there would be an end where I would get there. I thought I would get to a place, now, don't get me wrong, I've definitely gotten more comfortable. I've gotten comfortable with the process. I've gotten comfortable with outreach. I've gotten comfortable with certain things of the podcast, but I still, I can't tell you that I feel like, Oh, I, you know, have a perfect plan for what this podcast is going to become and why I'm doing it.
    And what my end goal is like I don't, I'm just kind of putting one foot in front of the other. So if you're waiting to know what you're doing, you're going to wait forever. Listen, number six is that, I remember when I started the podcast, somebody had told me, you have to wait a year before you even understand what you're even begin to understand what you're doing. And I remember doing the podcast and you know, at eight months, nine months, I was like, I don't know. You know, I'm coming up to a year and it doesn't feel any different and it's not like I'm learning anything all of a sudden. And then, you know, it was 11 months and it was so crazy that right around that one year mark, just so many things became crystal clear to me. Like I, I was just an all of a sudden change.
    And I started, I became really clear on what my mission was. I became really clear on who I wanted to serve. I became clear on my audience. And that has happened a couple of times throughout this process. And the lesson that I've learned through this is that a lot of times when we're doing things incrementally, it seems like nothing is changing. It seems like you're just doing the same thing. And I kept wondering, where is this going to go? What is this going to become? Why am I doing this every week? And I was enjoying it, but I was just really wondering like how does this play in the grand scheme of my business? And w you know, how long am I going to keep doing this? And even when it seems like nothing is changing, you are learning and you are growing and then all of a sudden there are these huge changes.
    You know, there's the example of bamboo like the tree, I think it takes like four years where nothing sprouts above ground. It's just building its roots and then in the fifth year it grows up to 90 feet, something like that. It's the same thing with this kind of compound effect and the incremental change that if you're actually putting the work in it will all of a sudden you'll start making these exponential growth. And so I think often we give up a little too early because we're not seeing that change that we want and you just have to keep going because you are making changes, you are learning, it is kind of stacking on top of each other and then it all makes sense at certain times. And I think that goes really nicely with my next lesson, which is persistence counts for a lot.
    I know when I was starting the podcast, going back to the comparison trap, I would look at a lot of people that had the same niche as me that were talking about the same things as me that you know, we're going to do kind of the same work. And I remember feeling discouraged or thinking like, I shouldn't do this. There's already somebody doing that or there's already someone talking about this. And it's interesting to see that two years later a lot of those people aren't doing it anymore. And I'm not saying it's because they gave up. Maybe other things have come up. Maybe they decided that that path wasn't for them. It could be a million different things. But I'm so glad that I took the, made the decision to do it even though I felt like, you know, podcasting was saturated even though I felt like there's other people talking about this because I realized that a lot of times, really the difference between you and other people is that if you just persist, if you just keep putting that foot in front of the other, cause there's a lot of people that will throw in the towel faster because they think that they're not getting to that end result that they wanted or they don't enjoy the process or you know, a million other things.
    And so it is a skill that I've come to value through this podcast is even in times of doubt, even in times of me thinking, why am I doing this? It's a lot of work. What is really the end goal with this. I'm so glad that I just persisted through it because so many amazing things have come from it that I couldn't see at the time where I was in these kind of doubt and uncertainty.
    And as I said about not knowing what I'm still doing, I think this goes with the next lesson, which is you can't think your way to the end. I've said this a million times on the podcast and I think every single guest we've had has like shown this, is that there's so many pivots and twists and turns and there's no way for you to know what you're actually gonna like until you're doing it and what parts you're gonna like and what parts you're not. I've been so surprised at the things that I actually love, which I never would've thought I would love. And the things that I thought I would love that quickly became old. It was really exciting in the beginning and then I was just kind of over it. And so there is no way to sit and create a plan for the rest of your life that you're all of a sudden going to like go step by step.
    I think we all know this like it's never worked like that and sometimes when you've gone on the traditional path, because there was a plan and sure maybe you had some ups and downs in it, but you followed a predictable plan. We think that the rest of our life has to be that too. Or like we, we feel only safe when we have, you know, a plan laid out for us. But if you want to forge your own path where you are listening to yourself or you are doing the things that really light you up and not what other people think you should do when you're doing things that really maybe haven't been done before in this new age of technology and this new age of entrepreneurship, if you're trying to do something that is different, you have to just start like you have to start and pivot and you know, not do it perfectly and figure it out as you go. Because that is the only way. If you're waiting for that plan, you will wait forever.
    My lesson number nine is, again, our brains are hardwired for negativity. We have an activity bias because that keeps us alive. Okay? Your brain’s job is not to have you be happy or have the most amazing life. It's to keep you alive and so it's constantly scanning for danger. It's constantly scanning for things that could harm you and we're focused a lot on what we can lose and it requires a conscious effort to stop focusing on what you can lose and start thinking about what you can gain. When I think back over these hundred episodes and just this podcast over the last two years, I can't even describe the amount that I've gained from the people that I've met, the people that I've helped, the people that have helped me, the relationships I've made, I am a completely different person and they wouldn't have known it.
    I mean, there's no way I could have guessed this when I was starting again. I couldn't have thought my way to this portion, but I focused so much on what I could lose, like on being embarrassed or what people would say or whether I would lose money. And really thinking about how much opportunity is out there for you to grow as a person, to have fulfillment, to have a life that is beyond your wildest dreams, but you can't get there if you're constantly focused on what you're going to lose on what the problems are on what possibly could trip you up. Yes. Like there are failures that have been tons of failures in these two years for me. And if I only focused on those, I would really lose out. And an example of this, I didn't realize until I did this and I wouldn't have known.
    I think that a lot of us focus a lot on what the negative things that people say. And I was one of them. My biggest fear was people judging me and what people were going to say behind my back. And I realized when you haven't put yourself in that arena, that seems like the biggest threat. That seems like really a hard thing to deal with and so you don't want to deal with it. But I never thought about how unbelievable it would feel to constantly get texts and emails and DMS from people that are telling me that the podcast has changed their life, has made them feel less alone, has made them feel less crazy as finally give them permission to go after their dreams. I mean those first of all far outweigh any negative feedback you ever get. But it also makes that negative feedback laughable.
    I don't care anymore. I thought I would care. But now I realize like, okay, well you're, I'm just not for you. And that's okay. Everyone doesn't have to like me. Everyone doesn't have to like the podcast. Everyone doesn't have to understand what I'm doing because there are clearly people that do and there are clearly people that I am doing this for. And when you're focusing so much on that negative on what you can lose on, what people are going to say is bad. Like you miss out on an entire world of possibility. And let me tell you, it is better than you can ever imagine. So you have to start focusing on that possibility. And last but definitely not least, discomfort is the key. It is the key to everything. It is the key to your growth. It is the key to a new success.
    It is the key to a fuller life. If you are comfortable, it means you are not setting big enough goals. I mean plain and simple. I think we all understand when we say like out of our comfort zone that intellectually that means you're going to be uncomfortable. But then as soon as we get to something that makes us uncomfortable, we run back, right? We hide. We decided we can't do it. And really I want you to understand that the only thing standing in between you and a dream life where I'm not saying a dream life, you're going to be happy all the time, but a dream life where you can experience life the way that you want and really you can see the full potential that you have in this world is only through discomfort. And I think thinking about another way is that you're the only thing stopping you is your inability to feel discomfort.
    That's it. It's just a feeling, right? The feelings of let's say, I don't know, vulnerability or fear or sadness or disappointment or rejection or whatever it is, it's just a feeling in your body that passes just like any other feeling, right? And that's all we're resisting. We resist that so much because we don't know how to process emotions. We're not taught what to do with our emotions besides like suppress them or distract ourselves or numb ourselves. And so you're giving up the possibility of a life that could be beyond your wildest dreams because you don't want to feel a feeling. And once you can understand that really and really understand that like the worst thing that can happen to you is to feel something that you don't want to feel like shame or embarrassment or whatever it is. It's just a feeling. It's not going to kill you.
    You'll move on, you'll figure out how to deal with it. And when you can kind of grasp that, my God, like it opens up the world to you, it opens you up to trying anything to going after anything, to putting yourself out there, to really showing up for your life. And so the biggest lesson I've learned from this is I'm now I was the least willing person to be uncomfortable. I wanted to live squarely in my comfort zone and I realized that the more I allow myself to be uncomfortable, the more I quiet my brain to understanding that we're going to be fine. Even if we feel uncomfortable, even if I'm feeling anxiety, even if I'm sad it didn't work out, whatever it is that will lead to so much more joy and happiness and fulfillment than anything else will. And that's the only reason that I am so full of hope and excite, excited about what the next a hundred episodes are going to be aware that this podcast is going to go and where this community is going to go and where my business is going to go.
    It's all unbelievably exciting. But with that excitement comes a lot of uncomfortable feelings and that's okay. I'm willing to feel it because I know that my life can be fuller than I can even imagine now and I'm ready to experience that. So those have been my 10 lessons from doing this podcast for two years. Putting myself out there trying something that I never thought I would try. I really, really want and hope that you guys can experience something like this and put yourself out in a way that terrifies you, that other people may not understand, that may open you up to criticism, but that can really show you how powerful you are and how much control you have over your life and how much agency you have and how amazing things can be and how much community is out there for you. And how many people are in the same exact places you and how many people want your story because it makes them feel seen.
    So with that, again, I will let you guys know that I'm going to do a challenge and I want this for all of you. So if you don't know what you should be doing, I want you to come over to quitter club.com/challenge and sign up with me so that we can hang out for a whole week and we can start getting you on your path. So those are my lessons from that hundred episodes. I wanted to give you guys a little update on my life and the businesses and the podcast and where it's going to go. So as many of you know, if you've been a longtime listener, I left a lot and I started a photo booth company, a C booth, and it was part rental, part selling it and manufacturing. And I started doing that before I did the podcast for a couple of years and is now been kind of on the side, obviously with Kobe.
    The rentals have shut down, but that'll be back up and running as soon as events are back up and running. And, but I have over the last two years kind of made a decision and I was really scared about making this decision in the beginning. Because I have a business that has a proven business model that works and I make money from and it's very reliable and it can be scaled and yet I don't love it. The rental, the side hustle is great. I don't do much work for it. People pick it up from me, I've set it up that way. And so I'll continue doing that. But I had decided to stop manufacturing and selling the booths. I basically have decided to stop trying to grow that company. And I had a lot of shame around this for a long time because I thought that it meant that I failed at this business, that I started like my first business.
    I dunno, in my eyes I started thinking, well, if I walk away from this, that means I'm a failure. Now I realize that's just a story I attached to it because unlike a lot of businesses in this country like that, you know, people start and ended up not working out. I had a business that I paid off all of the debt that I w that I started with. I made money from it. It's doing well. I could continue it, but I'm choosing not to. And yet I didn't see it that way. It just felt like, well, this didn't work. It wasn't an, you know, knock it out of the park. And part of that shame also came in that I didn't give it the proper amount of time and attention that I should have, that it could have been a knockout of the park.
    If I was really willing to put in the full time effort on that business. And so I felt a lot of guilt because no matter how much I tried to will myself, I couldn't get myself to really put that time and effort. As soon as I had more time, I wanted to start this podcast. And I think over the last two years, I've just really got more comfortable in understanding what my own path is and what lights me up. And the reason I do this podcast and the reason I do the coaching and the reason I do these programs is because I have never felt more lit up than when I do that work. And I'm kind of being, you know, I had to face myself in the mirror and be honest with myself that having this photo booth company is a distraction for me.
    It, I'm not all in and I'm not all out. And so it just keeps adding to do's to my list and kind of weighing heavy on me. And then yet I'm not actually growing yet. And so I have decided to kind of wind down that part of the company. Like I said, I mean, I'll still be renting and so that's kind of a side income. And I don't know how long, you know, maybe there'll be a time where I realized I don't want to do that. And I think that's fine, but I actually feel very liberated and happy about this decision. I feel like when I made the decision, I felt like a weight was taken off my shoulders because I was so worried that, okay, I had to prove to people I was successful as soon as I left law. And I realized that was again, just caught up in my ego and my old identity of wanting to prove that I'm worthy in some way because I had a successful, you know, quote unquote business.
    But I realized where my passion lies. Now I realize where I feel the most me and the most lit up, and I know the work that I can help people with and I know the work that keeps drawing me and that I only want to work on all day, all night, every weekend. And so I wasn't being honest with myself. I was holding onto something because I just thought I should. And I feel like my whole podcast is about quitting things that aren't serving us and aren't good for us and being really honest about what you want your life to look like. So going forward, I think I'm going to wind down most of that company, which is the manufacturing and the selling. And I'm just going to sell off the rest of my boots and keep the two or three that I rent out.
    I have also started, I mean I've talked about it before. I do coaching programs to help people figure out their career changes and I will be continuing to do that. For now, I'm doing a lot more mindset work, which is, and just focused on mindset. I'm actually getting my coaching certification and I did that really just to hone my own skills in these coaching programs so they know that I am doing it the proper way. And then I am holding the space for my clients to figure it out themselves so that they can make the best decisions for themselves. I'm super excited about this program. It literally, I'm, I've never been more giddy. I feel like, I'm like, obviously I'm like a student through and through and like being in a classroom always feels very comfortable to me. So when I started this course, it's amazing how that familiarity is so comfortable.
    I was so happy to be back in the class and have books and to read and have to do homework. That's how much of a nerd I am. But I love the topic. I've always, I realized now how things have come full circle. I was a psych major in undergrad and the only time I ever deviated from the thought of going to law school was considering going to become a psychologist. And I decided not to do that and to pursue law, but it's always been something that I've been very passionate about and very interested in. And I feel like a lot of this is coming full circle with the coaching certification because it is all around mindset and the brain and psychology and how we make decisions and all of this stuff. And so I'm in the process of that certification course right now and I think for the podcast, what that means.
    I'm trying to figure this out. I plan on doing more solo episodes about mindset stuff, about how to take the issues that we all deal with perfectionism and people pleasing and comparing and not being able to feel negative emotions, all of this stuff. I think that's the things that we need help on if we are deciding to change our career because actually quitting and applying for another job is not a hard thing. What gets in the way is all of the thoughts, right? I'm going to regret this. I can't throw all this away if people think I'm crazy, all of that stuff. So I definitely think I'll be doing more mindset episodes. I'm not sure exactly exactly what that format's going to look like. I think I might take a couple of weeks away from the podcast to kind of regroup and figure out how it's going to move forward.
    And I will let you know as soon as I figure it out. Like I said, just figuring out as I go. But I would love to hear from you guys if there are specific things that you want help with. If there's specific things you want me to address, if you want a different type of format in general, if you want more interviews, let me know. Let me know so I can tailor this in a way that really benefits you and we can continue onto the 200th episode. So I, I can't thank you all enough for sticking with me and for making the podcast what it is. I am so honored to be able to do this and to hear from you all and to really have a hand in, even if it is planting a seed about what is possible. It is such an honor for me and it really is just been the funnest project that I've ever done. I love you all. I can't wait for the next a hundred episodes and I will see you next week with that book review by you guys.